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It wouldn't be so much of a problem if the work culture in Japan wasn't so demanding and people had time to go out and socialise with people outside of their office mates.
It is also because women are pursuing careers rather than just taking care of the family. They are prioritizing their education and future jobs, just like in America, which is also experiencing low birth rates. Not quite as drastic compared to Japan, however.
@ADHITYA CHANDRA P. - Yes, I said ALSO. I brought up my point because men used to have to work for women. But now women are gaining more financial independence.
Women have to be really strong to be married: imagine, she wakes up, cooks breakfast for the whole family, dress kids, drives them to school, works full day, after work in the evening she runs home to cook for husband and kids again, clean the house, help husband to reduce stress, help kids with home work at school etc. At holidays cleaning, cooking etc continues. And on top of that she is expected to stay beautiful, young, cheerful and fresh even after her body gave birth multiple times. I don't even talk about the fact that we women also want to meet friends and have a hobby.
If you get married, that doesn't mean that your role as a woman is to do all of that. Marriage is a simbiosis, therefore both sides have to help each other out to coexist. I always hated the idea that because we're women, we're expected to act or behave in a certain way..
@@cinnamon9032 yes, of course idealistically all people would be happy to have a balanced respectful marriage life where you help each other. However according to my personal observation (at least in my region) it usually turns the way I described above. Among my friends and people I know. It's not easy for women to be a mother of family + as you get old there is an worry your husband can search for fresher girls. Like in business - you put so much work into marriage each day with high risks everything turning into void in the future. So being strong is required.
I feel like part of the problem too is that most Japanese men used to desire a wife who would stay at home while they worked and handle the housework and childcare. But now as it's basically impossible to support a family on one income and women are entering the workforce a lot of Japanese men want a wife eith a career. But what didn't change is that they still expect the wife to handle the childcare and the housework. It's ridiculous and not reasonable to expect of someone and it makes it hard for them to find a partner because no woman wants to have to do the supporting the family financially AND the domestic work.
Well said. My husband and I both live in the USA and we both work and share our household duties. Even with us splitting everything evenly, it's still hard.
Honestly taking care of kids is harder work than going to ur job. Like kids drain ur energy within 30 minutes imagine staying every single hour and day with them
I think marriage has nothing to do with his attitude. He is probably just shy because there is a camera in front of him, he is being interviewed, and he does not feel confident about his appearance / clothes at the moment.
I think the guy in the red hoodie is an introvert/hikikomori going by his body language... couldn't have been easy for him to accept an interview so more power to him!
Introvert yes but hikikomori maybe not. He seems too calm to be a hikikomori, don't get me wrong but most of them are pretty awkward and may seem really anxious. But maybe he was a hikikomori before?
@@Snowfirez based on what he said only it's like him saying he want to be served for like 60 years. If someone doesn't have wish to be dependent on someone else they won't say those kind of thing. If he can cook and want his wife to be able to cook too, he'll help her not just wanting her to be good at it.
A lot of these guys seem so worn down by life and sad. Actually, any person can get married as long as they are realistic about their standards. eg If you are a fat guy, you shouldn't turn down a girl just for being fat.
@@fedyx1544 okey...pathetic soyboy..and I ain't boomer... my generation is the most shiitest generation alive ... lack self esteem,moral compass,retard youth plague everywhere,triggered over fact,claiming there's 1 billion gender and it's fact there's 2 gender *male or female* ,feminism ruined average women life, fear mongering by the elite,lack of critical thinking and skepticism
When a hear a guy say that they want a pretty housewife, I usually look at them and think, "yes but does a pretty housewife want someone like you?" - I think society looks at women like they are something you can buy on amazon, like a one-way purchase.. The only thing that matters is the thing that they want, but in reality, if you want someone like (this), then you yourself must be a type of person that that woman would want. It is very vulnerable to become a housewife. You allow yourself to become completely financially dependent on another person and that is scary in a modern world. It takes so much trust to do that. I know plenty of women who would happily become house-wives WITH THE RIGHT MAN. But until he is trustworthy, honorable, and worth the risk, most women will rather be independent. Building a family is an equal partnership, no matter which way you cut it.
@@vissern21 "do you also ask the women if the guy really WANTS/NEEDS them also?" - Yes, absolutely. I'm sorry to hear that you think women look at men this way. Perhaps you ought to change the quality of women you associate yourself with. There are horrible women, as there are horrible men.
Why would young people in Japan (tokyo in particular) have kids? It's already crazy expensive to support yourself financially, imagine adding a kid on top of that
That is also true in Singapore. But "they" will tell you money is not the factor. Yea, it is not the cash. It is other things. If you have 3 kids a car is simply better, despite perfect public transport. If you want to go on holiday pay 3 times. Clothes, going out to eat, the size of the house . . . everything gets expensive. Normal earners would think twice.
@paisleyyama Taxes going up does not mean less money to marry and have children if that money is spent on childcare. Gotta use that brain of yours before speaking.
As a man from the country side who holds tradition to highest I'm against you but as a realist and not being one bit ignorant I Support you. Sad but true quote right there
Same here. I can't imagine how difficult having a child and being responsible for them until they got ready to be independent. I'm not even talking about the long term goals (like education), I'm talking about the daily stuff like household chores and taking care of the child. It's the responsibility I can't handle right now and the next few years.
In my opinion I think it's so weird how people in general believe that a good wife must be able to cook well I mean if you want good food just do it yourself for me personally that would'nt be the first thing I would look for in a spouse there are other qualities that are way more important, everyone should learn how to cook despite gender but idk just my opinion.
Ambar C. I agree. It’s such a sexist mindset, too. Cooking for an entire family is hard, especially when women are now expected to have jobs, too. It’s sad how many women are expected to work “double shifts” and be tired and unhappy because of it
It's because in Japan some women expect to be able to quit their jobs and be full-time housewives. In which case, cooking becomes one of her primary responsibilities as a family member.
Exactly! the moment he said that I thought, well why dont you just learn to cook good food??? what do You have to offer for a wife like you want if you expect her to do all the cleaning?
Dude, people in general don't believe that when they get married: she asked a kiddo of 25 who has no intention to marry, start such a life, get a wife, never asked himself anything about marriage or a woman, and who's gonna marry after 35 if he is an average japanese man 😂😂😂.... You ask wrong questions to wrong people, what do you expect? :) They tell you something classical that comes first in mind.
In Asia we have gender roles. It's hard to cook and clean the house if you come back from work at 10pm. That's why women go shopping for wood and clean the house while the man is out doing work
U. Wahya-Gihli I am aware of that, I was asking for a follow up. Hopefully you realise that the video is published on July 2016 so opinions then may differ to today.
It's less common to get the male perspective on this topic, so it's refreshing to see this video. This channel has so many more female perspectives than male ones.
Dude at the end said it perfectly. You can’t expect women to go back to work and have more kids if there are no nursery schools available. That would literally help majority of the problem. Double income for the families and more teaching jobs created.
My husband and I are not quite “traditional” marriage. We married when we were 24ish. I was a 新入社員 and he was a student. We were not financially stable at the time we got married. We had no savings. I was the only one supporting both of us financially (even till this day). Early on in the marriage we would be living literally paycheck to paycheck. 6 years later we are still happily married. We have the same vision. We love each other’s company more and more as day goes by. There is no perfect time to start a family. Waiting for financial stability? Your wealth can be taken away with one bad choice or just even from bad luck. If you are with the right person, all those things do not matter. There is no one shape and form of marriage. Each and every one is different. Don’t compare with others. Don’t let the society determine your happiness and timing.
Indeed. Don't let the society determine your happiness. The same with some people who find themselves happier being independent and live the life fullest only for themselves.
@@isabellacalistacross I agree. There are already so many people in the world. Raising happy and well adjusted kids is more important than just indiscriminately giving birth. And for that happy, secure and well adjusted parental figure is necessary.
it's not about society, it's about the child. If you can't provide for the child, don't have one. And providing for a child requires financial stability
The guy that said his wife must have a beautiful face. I think he’s never considered that people change with age. The girl can change with age, after giving birth, etc. Not to mention all sickness hurdles couples have to go through together like food poisoning when you have to support your vomiting partner, flu, when you have to see your partner with dirty hair and with a runny nose. They all want a marriage without any challenges. It’s not possible in real world
Beauty is also a marker for good genes. Some female birds will not mate if the symetry of the male feathers is off my a tiny margin. As you(/biology demads you to) want kids, you (unconsiously) wanting good genes for them is totaly natrual. We just dont call it good genetic material but beauty.
@@general_alexus2533 So.... You are saying women must look for handsome men too right? But you people will scream at women who literally do the same as you for being vain for choosing only guys who are pretty and handsome. Why the double standard?
@@sleepyearth I first had to laugh at your "So you are saying", sry Kathy Newmann came to mind. To answer your question: Well I dont care for other peoples double standart, I would say the argument goes for Female Woman as well, if you can go for the handsome guys as well.
Noah Hevey through conversation? Having fun together? Mutual interests? Similar life values? Starting as friends? As coworkers? You want me to continue?
The more i pay attention to the world the less i want to bring a child into it. The planet it literally being suffocated, war, increasing cost of living, increasing poverty.... like why would i want my children to suffer so slowly? No wonder depression, anxiety, and general nihilism is increasing
Not talking about suffering that a kid can bring. Kids are not just joy, but a huge investment of time, money and energy...on top of it all you have to raise a child properly...and those who don't feel any attachment to it neither mentally nor financially should not even bother
Agreed 100%. Less humans is a good thing. I will not add to the suffering of the planet and others just to satisfy my own desires. I already do that enough myself just living in such a society.
@James yes! I do! Wonderful deduction. But where I live does not have anything to do with the fact that there is war, there is poverty, there is climate change, and people cannot afford to raise kids. Even in first world countries.
@@valeriya1848 this is true too. I personally would like to have kids, but wont. And I have a friend who is a mom that if she could travel back in time, she wouldn't be one. Even though she loves her kid, she wishes she wasn't a mom
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw I can imagine it being a serious problem in Japan, what if there are not enough people to sustain the elderly population? As the population continues to age, more and more will retire and more and more will die, if not enough babies are being born to replace them, then the country just collapses on itself.
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw when talking about Japan and birthrates, it really equates to their economy. They don't really allow work force from other countries (but these days, it became quite acceptable). Taking into consideration how massive their economy is vs the man power, it is XXX. Who will work as nurses, doctors, lawyers, factory workers if this will continue.
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw shrinking population is a bad thing, actually, it depends on the economy likewise a declining birth rate would be beneficial for countries like India but it'd be a diff case for Japan
@I Am you. I agree with the fact that we-humans are also animals living with our animalistic instincts. However, our brain is more developed and it gives us choices in some social or biological situations. I think people who don't want to procreate has very weak animalistic instincts about this process or because of some traumas in their personal life they just cannot do it due to psychological or physical issues. Another reason can be a completely different lifestyle than majority want to have and I think it's completely normal, especially if you're not a religious person. I just want people to choose a lifestyle that can make them content with their life. Good luck to us on our life path :)
@@goldgaming5866 Why? Comparing to America food and rent is definitely cheaper even in Tokyo lol In other prefectures especially. Transportation is cheaper because u don't need to care about a car, car insurance, and all that.
Come to India , most of the people who got married recently or about to get married will say " i got married due to parental pressure" People here ask your score when you are studying , campus placements if you are in final year of post graduation and about your marriage when you just started career. That's really inspiring when they said "i felt i am financially good to take care of a family , so decided to get married"
@@DramaTV2613 I just started my career 6 months ago after MBA and my parents started talking about marriage. Am in different city and it's really helpful as you don't have to listen to your parents talking about marriage everyday. Fulfilling middle-class self's dreams is priority above anything and a promotion and salary hike is necessary before going to next step.
Yeah I don't understand the Indian parents obsession with getting their kids married! 🙄 I'm turning 25 this year and I hope they would stop pestering me all the time.
@@markhenley3097 not always true hehe. there's a cat woman stereotype but more and more, i see happy older single people. my cousin is one of them :) she has her parents, her family, her work, her hobbies, and her religion. not much to complain about. one could have everything btw, and still be depressed. one could be married and be depressed. one could have kids and be depressed. i've been mildly depressed for a while, i dont think marriage and/or kids is a "cure" but rather more burden when depressed people just want to slip under the bed covers and disappear for a while. just my perspective
As an unmarried guy that probably wasted too much time online, I noticed factors that play into this over the years. Firstly there's on-demand internet interactions taking away from IRL interactions. Even romantically you can build something up without ever meeting the person. You can have fun chatting to your friends across the globe, so you aren't forced to mingle locally anymore. Secondly there's on-demand entertainment everywhere you look, for any tastes possible that can distract you and give an escape from your worries. Thirdly there's so much individuality and diversity of interests and opinion that it slowly becomes difficult to find a match to your own ideas and interests. It all boils down to prioritizing/managing the time you can spend on this earth as a resource.
Financial issue is a factor in this globalised equation. Many people feel that, even with full-time work, they simply don't have the income necessary to live the lives they want. Even when it comes to just the basic essentials. The prices for daily goods have increased considerably since the 80's above and beyond what can be accounted for by inflation giving the dollar much less buying power. Bottom line, this indicate that, while the average person is still making the same amount of money when accounting for inflation, prices for many of the daily necessities have gone up considerably, which means that each dollar earned does, in fact, buy less than it did 30 years ago.
I totally agree. I feel like all of us need better skill at the finances side of life. Like get a degree that pays well and take the job in a place where your income exceeds cost of living. And live beneath your means. It is seductive to spend money once you get some, but somehow a large part of the young population is not getting ahead moneywise. To me that’s a really big issue. FWIW. I have student loans still at 45. I’ve given up on the standard path and have given up socially, so I can focus on my own struggling business.
I really enjoyed this type of video, about addressing social problems and asking random people on the street. When I'm in Japan, many of my friends don't want to talk about these topics, because it's "too serious" and "too depressing", so they rather want to talk about "funny" and "carefree" things. So it's really interesting to hear these people's voices. Good work!
Men: I want a woman who (lists ten skills she must be perfect at on top of being pretty 24/7) Men: (can't even brush hair in the morning let alone his teeth) I hope men like this continue single. Their wives would suffer if they ended up with people like this.
İ think the way you puted your sarcasm could fall under strawmanning or unrepresentative sample, the reason is (most) men certainly have standarts that are somewhat reasonable but they're not as you make it appear or there are really people as you alluded to but without taking into account whether they are the majority or not... And i'm sure you would agree that any woman who sets standarts as idealistic and naive as what you showed should be blamed as much as you blame the man in question
It's true that some men have unrealistic expectations. But due to social media, some women have developed narcissistic tendencies and have also developed unrealistic expectations. Let's not make having unrealistic expectations a gendered thing. Anyone can have them.
In Japan and Korea high school is not compulsory and therefore not free. Just recently Korean government is giving subsidies to lower income families who want to send their kids to high school. I'm not sure if there's something similar in Japan.
To the guy who said he prefers a woman who cooks for him - you can develop cooking skill on your own if you really enjoy eating good food. You don’t need to depend on a woman to eat good food!
Ok, to all you people saying he’s ugly; it may be a joke to you or something that you can just throw around but it’s not. No one is “ugly,” they are considered “unattractive” from CERTAIN perspectives and different point of views. Please don’t degrade and devalue people who are taking time out of their day to share their rightful opinions. Think twice before you say this to someone. Yes, it is Japanese culture to say this out of humility but when others agree spitefully or express their views rudely, it becomes an issue. How would you feel being judged so harshly solely on your physical appearance when all you wanted to do was follow through an interview? He doesn’t have to try to appeal to you and each and every person watching this. He’s his own person. And no, if I will not chill.
For starters, Japanese men should treat women as equals and end the misogyny reeking in their society. And they should also stop being afraid by women who are stronger and more successful than they are. There's no such thing as the perfect marriage partner but there is the right person. Marriage will always have it's ups and downs but who says it's easy when nothing in this world is easy. Japanese people need to balance work and personal life. End the workaholic routine as well.
@@KM-gp2yz misogyny is part of it but mostly it's because of the workaholic culture. Then again, sometimes I think this is Japan's karma for everything they did in WWI and WWII.
Given the economy and the fact that there's so many things to do to keep someone entertained and preoccupied (not just Japan but in general), it's no surprise that people are not getting married let alone having kids. People are struggling to find a job/career as it is. So when people feel like they're somewhat financially stable, I presume many don't want to risk their job/career by getting into a relation. To those that consider a relation, I think that they would feel they'd not be able to spend enough time with the family to make it a fulfilling relation. Also the 'old world' social norms of a male working and a female staying home and taking care of the kids and home is not something that works anymore. Again, this isn't just Japan, it's pretty much everywhere. In many couples, both work full time so the amount of time they spend is limited to after work (dinner, in the bedroom) and in the morning as they're leaving home to go to work for the day. Then on the weekends, many couples are too tired or too busy catching up with things they could not do during the work week. Some people work 7 days a week. So really this is a problem stemming from multiple issues. - financial burden/concern - time - career/occupation focus Governments in general need to do things to make it less stressful for people in general. Most of us working class work more these days than previous generations while getting less pay. This is all while the cost of living keeps going up. Job security is not as guaranteed as before. People are going to colleges & graduate schools and many are coming out with massive debt and not able to get a job. After some time of not getting a job, people will get discouraged, depressed, etc all while still being in debt. Heck, many hourly paying jobs don't even hire as easily. To those that get those jobs, many will not give much money let alone hours during the week. So if you consider all of the things I mentioned here, it's no wonder marriage and kids is not something that many people consider a priority these days. Unless governments and big corporations do something about it, things will keep getting worse. How is it for these big companies to keep making their millions & billions in profits each year while not proportionately giving better pay & benefits to its employees? How is it okay for people to be working more than 40 hours a week? People that work like 50+ hours a week barely have any time to do anything. So to wonder why people are not getting married, dating, or having kids is just silly. Marriage & kids is a big financial responsibility. If a country wants to see a population increase they're going to have to make changes that helps people be more financially less burdened, have more free time, etc. A government needs to use tax dollars that benefits its citizens. I mean that's what tax dollars are supposed to be used for, right? But think about what percentage of tax dollars are going where. Think about how much money corrupt politicians are taking and giving excuses as to why such an excessive amount is spent on certain things when clearly the people need to be paid better, need facilities that promote population grown, and need to be more financially stable so they feel less concerned with spending money. People need to be spending money to encourage economic growth.
@grey momo well people are obsessed with boy child. But now birthrate have declined very much. But some state like UP and Bihar where education is still a problem have higher birth rate.
For me, I think there are several reasons, one of them is that our generation is becoming more responsible in life. We don't want to raise our children in poverty because of our selfishness when we ourselves can't make ends meet yet and we don't want to marry just anyone that might cause our children to grow up in broken home. I've noticed that people my age 20-30s are afraid of commitment, we're judged for everything we do and did that it's hard to open up our heart to potential partner, thus we end up being just friend (or maybe fwb for some people). In Japan and many countries, common law marriage is getting more popular these days, couple can stay together with their chosen partner but since there's no attachment they can also breakup when problem arises, they won't be labelled as divorcee.Additionally, we're raise to become someone who only mind our own business or that we shouldn't meddle in other people's problems, that way we became indifferent people and that's not how marriage and parenting works.
I think the problem is Japanese people think of marriage as financially supporting someone. Marriage is about two people loving each other and doing life together, not just about money.....
It is not wrong to live as a single person with no children for your entire life. How about you ask the exact opposite question next time: "Why did you decide to get married and have children?"
You're not technically wrong but the retirement pension payment plan is basically a generational contract. So if you don't have children you should contribute something otherwise it's going to be hard for our generation and the following one to put up the money for the baby boomers pension payments.
This is what every man on the planet wants. You probably don't want this at the beginning of the relationship, but after a while, you will have a problem with it during the relationship (that's why there are a lot of divorces). Gender roles are more confusing than ever.
That is expected all around the world. Pretty much the reason that when I reach my stability (government worker), I plan to have children (it's one of my dreams to be a mother) and that is it, getting married is a plus if I'm lucky enough to find a reasonable man, otherwise no way I will have all this trouble and still be a maid to some man who probably treated his dear mother the same way. Bleh.
@@stillfangirlingtoday1468 I hope you're aware of the litany of statistics on the deleterious effects of an absent father in the family. If you give up on finding the perfect guy, and you're afraid of ending up with an abusive guy, then you can at least settle for a doormat, someone who you can control. And even if that ends up being someone abusive, then divorce. There's barely any stigma to it. Just don't bring kids into the world disadvantaged from the get-go. They deserve better.
i don't want to get married and don't want to have my own child too, it's my opinion and other people think i'm weird lol. i experienced babysitting my 3 niece and 1 nephew at the age of 13 and i know how hard it is
From my woman’s perspective it’s because men seem to increasingly become more unreliable and don’t even want kids until they’re 40, let alone be married, plus they get to walk away from anything whenever they feel like it. Women don’t want kids without being married because no woman wants to be a single mom. so we’re just being extra careful before bringing a baby into an uncertain world. Women are intuitive, and if we have the feeling we can’t support a child we will not have one.
The Matadore no woman wants to be a single mum? Then why are there like tons more single mums than single dads? Women can also walk away anytime they feel like it while divorcing the man and taking half his assets. Men being unreliable? Ok, when was the last time any woman was reliable? Especially Asian females who earn less than half of Western women.
The thing is that the fee for having a regular-normal life is already high... yeah getting married would help to cover those costs, but then having a baby would be even more expensive. As far as I know recently Japan gives money to the couple to cover the costs of the first 6 months after the baby was born or something like that. That probably would help them, but at the end of the day you would need a very good and stable job if you want to raise that child. So a lot of young japanese people think "Why would I want to spend so much money now if it barely covers my needs?"
Can you make a video about a similar topic, but in China. This generation has around 45 million more men than women, that means that a lot of people will never marry. Adding to that, a lot of women have incredible unrealistic expectations about men. Like height, houses, multiple cars, expecting them to pay for the wedding, etc. This would be very interesting. I know a few friends who are very depressed.
Many men are now looking abroad for wives. But yeah, unless men are willing to share wives, there's not going to be enough pairing up. Women in China focus on careers and then become leftover women.
Yeah like men don't have incredibly high expectations from women?This video is a prime example .Also there are left over women in China who these men refuse to date because of their own high expectations .
6:57 I like this dude. He views marriage as something to stick to for all your life, and seems like looking for an out before making a commitment is not on his mind at all.
Watching the interview made me realized that the invisible demands like child care, running a household, children’s welfares on schools and outside schools are quite heavy to the wives especially, not to mention their roles to contribute to the financial needs of the family though not mention is felt by women population. People are bound to break with too much pressures. Some one mentioned mental heath is one of the concerns why they choose to live and grow old alone. There is happiness and joy in married life and having family. sometimes we do encounter humps along the way, it is still a workable relationship. My married life for 28 years before my husband passed away was far from perfect but we lived a full life ( experienced happy, fun, sad, and had overcome all kinds of challenges, sweet and joyful memories overrule at the end). The relationship need to have two people committed to ride through life together with the strong conviction to make a better person of ourselves for the sake of the other partner. The children will absorb whatever they see in us, their parents. If we show the children a united front and a commitment to make our kids happy, for them to have a secure feeling that we will be for them no matter what we face everyday, the days ahead become easier. Not every success in life is about material gain. At the end of the day, the sight of smile in your family’s faces matters most. It is priceless. I hope someone pick up something on what I am sharing here.
Although I get that a country with an aging population and a low birth rate can be extremely detrimental. . .at the same time it's kind of refreshing in a way to see that the younger Japanese population aren't forcing themselves into marriage and parenthood just because it's the socially acceptable thing to do. Japanese society (from personal observation) seems like it puts a lot of emphasis on "saving face" and doing what's expected of you, even if the individual feels differently. So much pressure is put on them as far as school and work, pleasing their bosses, their parents, keep up with their colleagues, etc, I kind of like the fact that more of them are saying "We'd rather do what brings us personal fulfillment, even if it goes against the norm." But at the same time. . .for Japanese cities where people are literally living on top of each other, it seems their men and women don't know how or when to interact with each other(?)
Im Japanese 19 years old. I would like to marry someone who have own personality and of course want children . And I just want to say one thing “marriage partner is not your robot”.
I think based on what they've just said, it's not really easy to get married because of many factors and as an adult, you don't have enough time to meet others except for your everyday co-workers. That's why when I'll start working, I would try to do my things at my own pace. I also think that one of the factors of the declining are most people are pressured to be more rich and successful as early as possible so people don't have time to think about others and continue dedicating their life in their work.
He reminds me of myself , I kinda have his face , I too have a dark personality and though people always say I'm handsome I'm always like yeah ok sure buddy
That guy at 11:49 has the most realistic view of all. It is probably just as expensive to have children in Japan as it is anywhere else. In this day and age I don't think that it's fair to expect men to carry 100% of the financial burden of providing for a family. But from what I have noticed, Japan as a culture does not make it easy for women to work and have children at the same time. Women do 100% of the cooking? 100% of the housework? 100% of the childcare? From a woman's perspective, I can understand why Japanese women are choosing to not have children. And to be fair, I can see why Japanese men don't want that much of a burden on their shoulders. And someone needs to tell that guy at 3:55 who thinks he is unattractive that he is wrong!
honestly that glasses guy was real woke, when he said there should be more nurseries, it has a lot to do w women being expected to do 100% child care when they want/need to work
Miriam Caro yeah, and I think it should go both ways. If a woman is now expected to work to contribute to the family, men must also take care of the house and kids to contribute too
paisleyyama I understand that very well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the traditional family set-up as long as the couple can afford it. But as @aMr. Doggo suggested, the tax rates in Japan make it very difficult to continue with the old-fashioned, traditional way of life. It is not only that way in Japan but in most first-world countries which used to have 4+ children per household and now only have 2. So something has to change or the decline in the birth rate will continue to deplete the population. No population, no Japan. And that would be very sad.
Granted I'm not Japanese. I'm a woman from the U.S. But since childhood, I always knew I didn't want kids. & when I was 14, I learned that my chances of conceiving were less than stellar. For me, was fine because I didn't want kids. & at 34, 35 in September. That view hasn't changed. Instead of seeing people like me as immature & not thinking of others & only ourself. Think of us as adults, making a sound decision. Not wanting to bring a life into the world because society says that's how it should be. Because there are plenty of orphanages in this world that are overwhelmed & can telll you. Having kids just because you can, isn't sunshine & rainbows. People like me aren't the problem. The rush to procreate because we can & society demands it to be an "adult" is the issue. Progress from a broken mindset is delayed failure
I think it will be best for the future students because they don't have to fight for one place in jobs or in other fields to get sucess. Like 5million wants to be doctor but seats are present only for 10000 students.
With aging population Japan's working class will decline each year, as old people generally handle hard-working Japanese life style worse meaning that economics will decline as well. Not to mention that those old people are to be cared by somebody (nurses)
Batgirl P I mean the potential to hook up with a client is always there because they clients will always want to do so. That’s the long game. Asian Boss has some good videos about host clubs you should definitely check out if you get the chance. Interested chit.
The funny part is women is not natural born domestic worker. There's a lot of women that's just bad at it. Like me. Stigma of women is naturally caring and can take care of the household well is partly wrong. And it also applies to men. So actually hoping too much for your future partner to be what you want is one of the reason relationship is not working.
For the past year I have been living in Japan. I met a guy I really liked and we were having a good time together, but he was so busy all the time. His work hours were 7am-7pm Monday to Saturday. We separated because I wanted to get married and he didn't think it was fair to me to work those hours and have a wife as he'd never see me. It was really upsetting.
Stop bullying people who want things. If a guy wants a girl who can cook, then he wants a girl who can cook. The reality is, most of us want certain things from our partners, we might end up falling in love with completely different people, but we still have ideals. There is nothing bad about that. For example, I love cooking and I want a guy who wants someone who can cook, bc I can lmao. so just stop acting like there's something bad about having a certain ideal body type or ideal qualities in mind when thinking of your future husband/wife
Indonesia hereee... where people after 25 and haven't get married will be asked by their surrounding "when will you get married? When will you get married?" After married they will ask you "when wil you have kids?" After you have kid they will ask you "when will you have 2nd, 3rd, 4th child?" And so on 😂😂😂. So many couples here sometimes get married just because they want to change their status in society 😄😄😄
Agreed....In India also....If someone got married then after 1 year they will start asking :are you having baby are you pregnant or when will you have baby...Same thing happens here 😄😄
Awww who is the person in ur profile pic he so cuuuteee😭 Edit: O wait nvm I looked closer and it's a TXT member and I'm sorry if this is wrong but I can't tell them apart easily because it is hard for me and takes me 2-10 days to tell people from groups apart but is that Beomgyu?
Living in Japan for 6 years and trying to find a wife has been difficult to say the least. I have yet to find a young girl who is willing to be serious in relationships or desires to get married. Everyone just wants to hop from partner to partner having "fun" it's really discouraging. Parents and society treats everyone like a child until 30 years old. And discourages marriage until that age. No one encourages marriage at a young age until late 20's when it's too late. By that time most people are physically and emotionally scared by past relationships making it difficult to to commit to one person. And the excuses number in the hundreds, no money, not mature enough, haven't done the things in life they wanted yet, etc. It's such a sad situation.
So your reasoning for getting married early is so rope people into it before they know what they are getting into rather then doing what they want to do it in life? Sounds like the logic of a con man. lol
@@Rem694u2 No, If I actually love someone I want to commit to her and only her as family. Because that is what it means to love someone. I don't want to use someone for fun and toss them aside when it gets boring or inconvenient. That's what selfish people do. Besides, if you are sleeping with someone you are ready for marriage. And you already know what you are doing. Saying otherwise is just making excuses.
The world is already overpopulated. If I would raise a child, I would definitely adopt one. I think adopting will reduce the stress on the resources, less stress on society generally, less suffering in the society. That only happens when I am financially stable.
You'd think that asian parents like mine, having known how demanding work life can be when you get older, would let up on their children and let them have fun and explore new things and have relationships while they're still young instead of occupying every second of of their youth with studying for exams with no space for any form of "distraction".
I just wanted to come live either in japan or korea , but now I’m frightened, sure my country isn’t modern and all but i feel like no one struggles like japanese people are rn , after all in my country you can still have 5 children in a small household and live with a salary of 150€ here (it’s a common phenomenon tho)
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@@JD-kp6pt your right
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More of half of the video wasn't about the tittle 😡
You should ask the same questions in countryside towns.
🤔
It wouldn't be so much of a problem if the work culture in Japan wasn't so demanding and people had time to go out and socialise with people outside of their office mates.
It is also because women are pursuing careers rather than just taking care of the family. They are prioritizing their education and future jobs, just like in America, which is also experiencing low birth rates. Not quite as drastic compared to Japan, however.
Married to their job
Stfu
@ADHITYA CHANDRA P. - Yes, I said ALSO. I brought up my point because men used to have to work for women. But now women are gaining more financial independence.
Pancake Circus sort of.I remember that one Japanese dude saying that his girlfriend is his job 😁
Women have to be really strong to be married: imagine, she wakes up, cooks breakfast for the whole family, dress kids, drives them to school, works full day, after work in the evening she runs home to cook for husband and kids again, clean the house, help husband to reduce stress, help kids with home work at school etc. At holidays cleaning, cooking etc continues. And on top of that she is expected to stay beautiful, young, cheerful and fresh even after her body gave birth multiple times. I don't even talk about the fact that we women also want to meet friends and have a hobby.
That's why I'm unmarried. Gotta enjoy life and hobbies. 😊
And Period 1 time per month... :/
modern females doesn't know how to cook and don't want to have children
If you get married, that doesn't mean that your role as a woman is to do all of that. Marriage is a simbiosis, therefore both sides have to help each other out to coexist. I always hated the idea that because we're women, we're expected to act or behave in a certain way..
@@cinnamon9032 yes, of course idealistically all people would be happy to have a balanced respectful marriage life where you help each other. However according to my personal observation (at least in my region) it usually turns the way I described above. Among my friends and people I know. It's not easy for women to be a mother of family + as you get old there is an worry your husband can search for fresher girls. Like in business - you put so much work into marriage each day with high risks everything turning into void in the future. So being strong is required.
I feel like part of the problem too is that most Japanese men used to desire a wife who would stay at home while they worked and handle the housework and childcare. But now as it's basically impossible to support a family on one income and women are entering the workforce a lot of Japanese men want a wife eith a career. But what didn't change is that they still expect the wife to handle the childcare and the housework. It's ridiculous and not reasonable to expect of someone and it makes it hard for them to find a partner because no woman wants to have to do the supporting the family financially AND the domestic work.
Well said. My husband and I both live in the USA and we both work and share our household duties. Even with us splitting everything evenly, it's still hard.
Honestly taking care of kids is harder work than going to ur job. Like kids drain ur energy within 30 minutes imagine staying every single hour and day with them
They have to because Japanese men have to work 15 hours a day. Their work culture is toxic.
You've nailed it
In Japan that's not the case
I feel bad for the guy in the red sweater. He seems really uncomfortable and sad. I'm kinda rooting for him to get married somehow.
thats normal. japanese are not used to being in front of a camera.
I think marriage has nothing to do with his attitude. He is probably just shy because there is a camera in front of him, he is being interviewed, and he does not feel confident about his appearance / clothes at the moment.
I'm rooting for him to be happy, whether it's through marriager or not :)
He seems like an introvert/hikikomori... I say good on him for doing the interview, probably wasn't an easy thing for him :)
@@yukiefromoz2573 If he were a hikikomori he wouldn't be in the street being interviewed
I think the guy in the red hoodie is an introvert/hikikomori going by his body language... couldn't have been easy for him to accept an interview so more power to him!
Yukie From Oz or psychopath
Agreed, good for him👍
He didn't have to do it, he could have kept walking.
I thought so too! Big hikikomori vibes.
Introvert yes but hikikomori maybe not. He seems too calm to be a hikikomori, don't get me wrong but most of them are pretty awkward and may seem really anxious. But maybe he was a hikikomori before?
The guy said he couldn’t imagine living 60 years with a person that can’t cook. Why don’t he learns himself? Lol
Yeah, imagine living that long and not knowing how to feed yourself. lol
He can cook for himself, it's his requirement for his future wife that she can cook too like him
@@Snowfirez based on what he said only it's like him saying he want to be served for like 60 years. If someone doesn't have wish to be dependent on someone else they won't say those kind of thing. If he can cook and want his wife to be able to cook too, he'll help her not just wanting her to be good at it.
Abii ooo
Help me ask him dat nugget
Seriously learning how to properly feed yourself is the most important step of being self-sustained.
"Because I want to do whatever I want, too. And I would respect her desicion."
It would be great, if more people thought like that.
That's like my ideal partner 😻 only ever had one partner where we could both do whatever the hell we wanted
It's so right, I wish could meet someone who respect each other private and decisions.
@Pluralizes Everythings yes these guys don't know what hostess bar is and are okay with cheating on their husbands
tbh I don't want to marry a prostitute
You just want to cheat on your partner
4:00 “But I’m sure there are girls who like men with dark personalities.”
Amazing save Alicia. Amazing save...😂
yeah what a weirdo
HeR
they love dark triad personality in men but only with a men who are tall and handsome
I think he's attractive though, and he's brave. I like him
A lot of these guys seem so worn down by life and sad. Actually, any person can get married as long as they are realistic about their standards. eg If you are a fat guy, you shouldn't turn down a girl just for being fat.
Personally I feel like life is less about leaving a legacy and more about enjoying your time while you’re alive.
You can actually do both.
thanks to modern *hedonism and nihilism* plague from the west... degeneracy on it's finest
@@D0x1511af ok doomer
@@D0x1511af Does life have meaning though
@@fedyx1544 okey...pathetic soyboy..and I ain't boomer... my generation is the most shiitest generation alive ... lack self esteem,moral compass,retard youth plague everywhere,triggered over fact,claiming there's 1 billion gender and it's fact there's 2 gender *male or female* ,feminism ruined average women life, fear mongering by the elite,lack of critical thinking and skepticism
When a hear a guy say that they want a pretty housewife, I usually look at them and think, "yes but does a pretty housewife want someone like you?" - I think society looks at women like they are something you can buy on amazon, like a one-way purchase.. The only thing that matters is the thing that they want, but in reality, if you want someone like (this), then you yourself must be a type of person that that woman would want.
It is very vulnerable to become a housewife. You allow yourself to become completely financially dependent on another person and that is scary in a modern world. It takes so much trust to do that. I know plenty of women who would happily become house-wives WITH THE RIGHT MAN. But until he is trustworthy, honorable, and worth the risk, most women will rather be independent. Building a family is an equal partnership, no matter which way you cut it.
@@vissern21 "do you also ask the women if the guy really WANTS/NEEDS them also?" - Yes, absolutely. I'm sorry to hear that you think women look at men this way. Perhaps you ought to change the quality of women you associate yourself with. There are horrible women, as there are horrible men.
@@overlord606 I never left the kitchen... All of the food and wine is there. Honestly, it's the best room in the house.
@@thereisa 😂 🤣😂 🤣
Theresa Kim Glad you take it as a joke it was to be.
@@vissern21 Sure it goes both ways.
Why would young people in Japan (tokyo in particular) have kids? It's already crazy expensive to support yourself financially, imagine adding a kid on top of that
@paisleyyama Men are needed much less than women when it comes to reproduction
I'm not in Tokyo, not even in Japan (I wish I were), but that's exactly my thought
@paisleyyama these liberals spout nonsense.
That is also true in Singapore.
But "they" will tell you money is not the factor. Yea, it is not the cash. It is other things. If you have 3 kids a car is simply better, despite perfect public transport. If you want to go on holiday pay 3 times. Clothes, going out to eat, the size of the house . . . everything gets expensive. Normal earners would think twice.
@paisleyyama Taxes going up does not mean less money to marry and have children if that money is spent on childcare. Gotta use that brain of yours before speaking.
I'd rather have a cat because I am nowhere near mentally and financially capable of bringing a child into a world. It's better that way.
Same reason as me except, dogs are better ya know being man's best friend and all
As a man from the country side who holds tradition to highest I'm against you but as a realist and not being one bit ignorant I Support you. Sad but true quote right there
Same here. I can't imagine how difficult having a child and being responsible for them until they got ready to be independent. I'm not even talking about the long term goals (like education), I'm talking about the daily stuff like household chores and taking care of the child. It's the responsibility I can't handle right now and the next few years.
I want a child of my own but it requires having a wife/girlfriend.
True. Can't imagine it either. Life is short, and there are too many other things to take care of.
In my opinion I think it's so weird how people in general believe that a good wife must be able to cook well I mean if you want good food just do it yourself for me personally that would'nt be the first thing I would look for in a spouse there are other qualities that are way more important, everyone should learn how to cook despite gender but idk just my opinion.
Ambar C. I agree. It’s such a sexist mindset, too. Cooking for an entire family is hard, especially when women are now expected to have jobs, too. It’s sad how many women are expected to work “double shifts” and be tired and unhappy because of it
It's because in Japan some women expect to be able to quit their jobs and be full-time housewives. In which case, cooking becomes one of her primary responsibilities as a family member.
Exactly! the moment he said that I thought, well why dont you just learn to cook good food??? what do You have to offer for a wife like you want if you expect her to do all the cleaning?
Dude, people in general don't believe that when they get married: she asked a kiddo of 25 who has no intention to marry, start such a life, get a wife, never asked himself anything about marriage or a woman, and who's gonna marry after 35 if he is an average japanese man 😂😂😂....
You ask wrong questions to wrong people, what do you expect? :) They tell you something classical that comes first in mind.
In Asia we have gender roles. It's hard to cook and clean the house if you come back from work at 10pm. That's why women go shopping for wood and clean the house while the man is out doing work
Hopefully we can get a female perspective on this topic too
There is, she mentions the video in the beginning.
U. Wahya-Gihli I am aware of that, I was asking for a follow up. Hopefully you realise that the video is published on July 2016 so opinions then may differ to today.
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw We're in 2020 though, plus a different immediate perspective would be very complimentary.
It's less common to get the male perspective on this topic, so it's refreshing to see this video. This channel has so many more female perspectives than male ones.
That Japanese man yuta / nobita from Japan both have these
Dude at the end said it perfectly. You can’t expect women to go back to work and have more kids if there are no nursery schools available. That would literally help majority of the problem. Double income for the families and more teaching jobs created.
My husband and I are not quite “traditional” marriage. We married when we were 24ish. I was a 新入社員 and he was a student. We were not financially stable at the time we got married. We had no savings. I was the only one supporting both of us financially (even till this day). Early on in the marriage we would be living literally paycheck to paycheck. 6 years later we are still happily married. We have the same vision. We love each other’s company more and more as day goes by. There is no perfect time to start a family. Waiting for financial stability? Your wealth can be taken away with one bad choice or just even from bad luck. If you are with the right person, all those things do not matter. There is no one shape and form of marriage. Each and every one is different. Don’t compare with others. Don’t let the society determine your happiness and timing.
I think the same, especially about the "right person".
where are you from ?
Indeed. Don't let the society determine your happiness. The same with some people who find themselves happier being independent and live the life fullest only for themselves.
@@isabellacalistacross I agree. There are already so many people in the world. Raising happy and well adjusted kids is more important than just indiscriminately giving birth. And for that happy, secure and well adjusted parental figure is necessary.
it's not about society, it's about the child. If you can't provide for the child, don't have one. And providing for a child requires financial stability
The boy who said he wouldn't get married because he has a dark personality - felt that in another level - but he's wrong. Hope he finds someone.
Mariana Silva I feel a shojo manga coming on
Mariana Silva I think he was joking
You’re right. He won’t get married because he’s short and ugly.
@@mike-0451 maybe that's why he's depressed
@@mike-0451 ouch dude
The guy that said his wife must have a beautiful face. I think he’s never considered that people change with age. The girl can change with age, after giving birth, etc. Not to mention all sickness hurdles couples have to go through together like food poisoning when you have to support your vomiting partner, flu, when you have to see your partner with dirty hair and with a runny nose. They all want a marriage without any challenges. It’s not possible in real world
Beauty is also a marker for good genes. Some female birds will not mate if the symetry of the male feathers is off my a tiny margin. As you(/biology demads you to) want kids, you (unconsiously) wanting good genes for them is totaly natrual. We just dont call it good genetic material but beauty.
@@general_alexus2533 So.... You are saying women must look for handsome men too right? But you people will scream at women who literally do the same as you for being vain for choosing only guys who are pretty and handsome. Why the double standard?
@@sleepyearth I first had to laugh at your "So you are saying", sry Kathy Newmann came to mind. To answer your question:
Well I dont care for other peoples double standart, I would say the argument goes for Female Woman as well, if you can go for the handsome guys as well.
En Nn Attraction. Realistically how’s he gonna even meet the person if he’s not attracted to them. Before you go off just think please.
Noah Hevey through conversation? Having fun together? Mutual interests? Similar life values? Starting as friends? As coworkers? You want me to continue?
The more i pay attention to the world the less i want to bring a child into it. The planet it literally being suffocated, war, increasing cost of living, increasing poverty.... like why would i want my children to suffer so slowly? No wonder depression, anxiety, and general nihilism is increasing
I get that one
Not talking about suffering that a kid can bring. Kids are not just joy, but a huge investment of time, money and energy...on top of it all you have to raise a child properly...and those who don't feel any attachment to it neither mentally nor financially should not even bother
Agreed 100%. Less humans is a good thing. I will not add to the suffering of the planet and others just to satisfy my own desires. I already do that enough myself just living in such a society.
@James yes! I do! Wonderful deduction. But where I live does not have anything to do with the fact that there is war, there is poverty, there is climate change, and people cannot afford to raise kids. Even in first world countries.
@@valeriya1848 this is true too. I personally would like to have kids, but wont. And I have a friend who is a mom that if she could travel back in time, she wouldn't be one. Even though she loves her kid, she wishes she wasn't a mom
The guy in the red hoodie trying to answer over some kid yelling next to him is so ironic lmao
"I have a dark personality" would've been my answer too
Was surprised there wasn't an anime flash back scene as soon as he said it lol
As an Indian, it's almost impossible for me to imagine a declining birth rate xD
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw I can imagine it being a serious problem in Japan, what if there are not enough people to sustain the elderly population? As the population continues to age, more and more will retire and more and more will die, if not enough babies are being born to replace them, then the country just collapses on itself.
Birth rate is declining rapidly in South India.
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw when talking about Japan and birthrates, it really equates to their economy. They don't really allow work force from other countries (but these days, it became quite acceptable). Taking into consideration how massive their economy is vs the man power, it is XXX. Who will work as nurses, doctors, lawyers, factory workers if this will continue.
@@supernova7966 on what basis You're saying it? Any citation?
@@hwfq34fajw9foiffawdiufhuaiwfhw shrinking population is a bad thing, actually, it depends on the economy likewise a declining birth rate would be beneficial for countries like India but it'd be a diff case for Japan
"This world is no world for a child.."
Geralt of Rivia
@I Am you. he can say that because he was once a child
@I Am you. He didn't ask for it, blame the parents.
hmm... interesting!
@I Am you. I think you don't understand the whole meaning of the quote. I would link it to antinatalism.
@I Am you. I agree with the fact that we-humans are also animals living with our animalistic instincts. However, our brain is more developed and it gives us choices in some social or biological situations. I think people who don't want to procreate has very weak animalistic instincts about this process or because of some traumas in their personal life they just cannot do it due to psychological or physical issues. Another reason can be a completely different lifestyle than majority want to have and I think it's completely normal, especially if you're not a religious person. I just want people to choose a lifestyle that can make them content with their life. Good luck to us on our life path :)
„I have a dark personality“ sounded a lot like he‘s a murderer or smth 😂😂😂
😁😂😂he is soo cute
Why would they want kids when the cost of living for themselves is crazy? Add a kid and many people wouldn't be able to survive or live happily.
And these days in the US parents are supporting their "kids" into their 30s.
And in some countries it is even higher than in Japan. US and Australia for example
@@valeriya1848 japan is more expensive than the usa and australia lmao.
@@goldgaming5866 Why? Comparing to America food and rent is definitely cheaper even in Tokyo lol In other prefectures especially. Transportation is cheaper because u don't need to care about a car, car insurance, and all that.
Well that is why they are depressed
Come to India , most of the people who got married recently or about to get married will say " i got married due to parental pressure"
People here ask your score when you are studying , campus placements if you are in final year of post graduation and about your marriage when you just started career.
That's really inspiring when they said "i felt i am financially good to take care of a family , so decided to get married"
I would cut ties with my family if they dont let me live the way I want to
@@DramaTV2613 I just started my career 6 months ago after MBA and my parents started talking about marriage. Am in different city and it's really helpful as you don't have to listen to your parents talking about marriage everyday.
Fulfilling middle-class self's dreams is priority above anything and a promotion and salary hike is necessary before going to next step.
Yeah I don't understand the Indian parents obsession with getting their kids married! 🙄 I'm turning 25 this year and I hope they would stop pestering me all the time.
10 years from now I only see myself in a condo with my cat
And don't have any interest to get married
@James men do the same and are praised for it?its a matter of choice how a person wants to live their life .
Problem is when you're 40 years old you'll be a depressed or crazy cat woman.
@@markhenley3097 not always true hehe. there's a cat woman stereotype but more and more, i see happy older single people. my cousin is one of them :) she has her parents, her family, her work, her hobbies, and her religion. not much to complain about. one could have everything btw, and still be depressed. one could be married and be depressed. one could have kids and be depressed. i've been mildly depressed for a while, i dont think marriage and/or kids is a "cure" but rather more burden when depressed people just want to slip under the bed covers and disappear for a while. just my perspective
As an unmarried guy that probably wasted too much time online, I noticed factors that play into this over the years. Firstly there's on-demand internet interactions taking away from IRL interactions. Even romantically you can build something up without ever meeting the person. You can have fun chatting to your friends across the globe, so you aren't forced to mingle locally anymore. Secondly there's on-demand entertainment everywhere you look, for any tastes possible that can distract you and give an escape from your worries. Thirdly there's so much individuality and diversity of interests and opinion that it slowly becomes difficult to find a match to your own ideas and interests. It all boils down to prioritizing/managing the time you can spend on this earth as a resource.
Financial issue is a factor in this globalised equation. Many people feel that, even with full-time work, they simply don't have the income necessary to live the lives they want. Even when it comes to just the basic essentials. The prices for daily goods have increased considerably since the 80's above and beyond what can be accounted for by inflation giving the dollar much less buying power.
Bottom line, this indicate that, while the average person is still making the same amount of money when accounting for inflation, prices for many of the daily necessities have gone up considerably, which means that each dollar earned does, in fact, buy less than it did 30 years ago.
Yes, it's the global issue :/
I totally agree.
I feel like all of us need better skill at the finances side of life. Like get a degree that pays well and take the job in a place where your income exceeds cost of living. And live beneath your means.
It is seductive to spend money once you get some, but somehow a large part of the young population is not getting ahead moneywise. To me that’s a really big issue.
FWIW. I have student loans still at 45. I’ve given up on the standard path and have given up socially, so I can focus on my own struggling business.
I really enjoyed this type of video, about addressing social problems and asking random people on the street. When I'm in Japan, many of my friends don't want to talk about these topics, because it's "too serious" and "too depressing", so they rather want to talk about "funny" and "carefree" things. So it's really interesting to hear these people's voices. Good work!
Men: I want a woman who (lists ten skills she must be perfect at on top of being pretty 24/7)
Men: (can't even brush hair in the morning let alone his teeth)
I hope men like this continue single. Their wives would suffer if they ended up with people like this.
İ think the way you puted your sarcasm could fall under strawmanning or unrepresentative sample, the reason is (most) men certainly have standarts that are somewhat reasonable but they're not as you make it appear or there are really people as you alluded to but without taking into account whether they are the majority or not... And i'm sure you would agree that any woman who sets standarts as idealistic and naive as what you showed should be blamed as much as you blame the man in question
I laughed so much after reading your comment lol... you are very right ;)
It's true that some men have unrealistic expectations. But due to social media, some women have developed narcissistic tendencies and have also developed unrealistic expectations.
Let's not make having unrealistic expectations a gendered thing. Anyone can have them.
Okay feminist
@@Foxxnioxx Nothing to do with feminism - it's just basic hygiene and looking after your appearance lol.
Wtf i thought every developed country had public free schools lol
Nothing in Japan is Free....
In Japan and Korea high school is not compulsory and therefore not free. Just recently Korean government is giving subsidies to lower income families who want to send their kids to high school. I'm not sure if there's something similar in Japan.
Sara Trejo - Wow. Thanks for the info 💛
How backwards does a country need to be not to give their children, the next generation, free basic education when they can afford it??
S. Ali THIS!
To the guy who said he prefers a woman who cooks for him - you can develop cooking skill on your own if you really enjoy eating good food. You don’t need to depend on a woman to eat good food!
A women version of this video would be really interesting!
I think they made one already (a little while ago)
3:31 my ideal man. His woman is so lucky to have him
He is so kind and sweet right
"Because I'm not attractive." Don't say that about yourself please!
Just find a ugly girl, easy. Unless you're rich then Victoria secret like beauties will be all over you
he is right he is ugly and short which means he will be virgin till death
Ok, to all you people saying he’s ugly; it may be a joke to you or something that you can just throw around but it’s not. No one is “ugly,” they are considered “unattractive” from CERTAIN perspectives and different point of views. Please don’t degrade and devalue people who are taking time out of their day to share their rightful opinions. Think twice before you say this to someone.
Yes, it is Japanese culture to say this out of humility but when others agree spitefully or express their views rudely, it becomes an issue. How would you feel being judged so harshly solely on your physical appearance when all you wanted to do was follow through an interview? He doesn’t have to try to appeal to you and each and every person watching this. He’s his own person.
And no, if I will not chill.
Japanese men are so hot though.
It's a Japanese culture to say something like that when interviewd.
Japanese: we focus more on the future and life after retirement
Philippines: the more the merrier
iTs mOrE fUn iN tHe pHiLipPiNeS
For starters, Japanese men should treat women as equals and end the misogyny reeking in their society. And they should also stop being afraid by women who are stronger and more successful than they are. There's no such thing as the perfect marriage partner but there is the right person. Marriage will always have it's ups and downs but who says it's easy when nothing in this world is easy. Japanese people need to balance work and personal life. End the workaholic routine as well.
Shut up. Misogyny is not the cause here. Look at India or any other country that has a high birthrate.
@@KM-gp2yz misogyny is part of it but mostly it's because of the workaholic culture. Then again, sometimes I think this is Japan's karma for everything they did in WWI and WWII.
What the hell? Japanese woman and man behave normal here... Do you live in japan?
Kudos to Alicia for being awesome and helping people talk about a very difficult subject without getting uncomfortable.
Given the economy and the fact that there's so many things to do to keep someone entertained and preoccupied (not just Japan but in general), it's no surprise that people are not getting married let alone having kids.
People are struggling to find a job/career as it is.
So when people feel like they're somewhat financially stable, I presume many don't want to risk their job/career by getting into a relation.
To those that consider a relation, I think that they would feel they'd not be able to spend enough time with the family to make it a fulfilling relation.
Also the 'old world' social norms of a male working and a female staying home and taking care of the kids and home is not something that works anymore.
Again, this isn't just Japan, it's pretty much everywhere.
In many couples, both work full time so the amount of time they spend is limited to after work (dinner, in the bedroom) and in the morning as they're leaving home to go to work for the day.
Then on the weekends, many couples are too tired or too busy catching up with things they could not do during the work week.
Some people work 7 days a week.
So really this is a problem stemming from multiple issues.
- financial burden/concern
- time
- career/occupation focus
Governments in general need to do things to make it less stressful for people in general.
Most of us working class work more these days than previous generations while getting less pay.
This is all while the cost of living keeps going up.
Job security is not as guaranteed as before.
People are going to colleges & graduate schools and many are coming out with massive debt and not able to get a job.
After some time of not getting a job, people will get discouraged, depressed, etc all while still being in debt.
Heck, many hourly paying jobs don't even hire as easily.
To those that get those jobs, many will not give much money let alone hours during the week.
So if you consider all of the things I mentioned here, it's no wonder marriage and kids is not something that many people consider a priority these days.
Unless governments and big corporations do something about it, things will keep getting worse.
How is it for these big companies to keep making their millions & billions in profits each year while not proportionately giving better pay & benefits to its employees?
How is it okay for people to be working more than 40 hours a week? People that work like 50+ hours a week barely have any time to do anything. So to wonder why people are not getting married, dating, or having kids is just silly.
Marriage & kids is a big financial responsibility.
If a country wants to see a population increase they're going to have to make changes that helps people be more financially less burdened, have more free time, etc.
A government needs to use tax dollars that benefits its citizens.
I mean that's what tax dollars are supposed to be used for, right?
But think about what percentage of tax dollars are going where. Think about how much money corrupt politicians are taking and giving excuses as to why such an excessive amount is spent on certain things when clearly the people need to be paid better, need facilities that promote population grown, and need to be more financially stable so they feel less concerned with spending money.
People need to be spending money to encourage economic growth.
Reporter: I'm sure there are girls who like guys with dark personalities
Haruno Sakura: Yes. I'm one of them
yep!!! haha
Sasuke-kun...
Meanwhile i am feeling Bad about my Country India which is number one in Having kids and Unemployment...
grey momo i think it’s because in asian countries parents typically want boys over girls so they keep on having kids until they get a boy
@@ashleyrc9365 yes I agree they do in that way....
@grey momo well people are obsessed with boy child. But now birthrate have declined very much. But some state like UP and Bihar where education is still a problem have higher birth rate.
Reporter : what is your ideal marriage partner ?
Japanese man : Miku Hologram
For me, I think there are several reasons, one of them is that our generation is becoming more responsible in life. We don't want to raise our children in poverty because of our selfishness when we ourselves can't make ends meet yet and we don't want to marry just anyone that might cause our children to grow up in broken home. I've noticed that people my age 20-30s are afraid of commitment, we're judged for everything we do and did that it's hard to open up our heart to potential partner, thus we end up being just friend (or maybe fwb for some people). In Japan and many countries, common law marriage is getting more popular these days, couple can stay together with their chosen partner but since there's no attachment they can also breakup when problem arises, they won't be labelled as divorcee.Additionally, we're raise to become someone who only mind our own business or that we shouldn't meddle in other people's problems, that way we became indifferent people and that's not how marriage and parenting works.
but r u japanese?
@@jake9854 not really, ¼ ig? Also my Japanese coworkers are like that, some only got married to climb the company's ladder
I think the problem is Japanese people think of marriage as financially supporting someone. Marriage is about two people loving each other and doing life together, not just about money.....
It is not wrong to live as a single person with no children for your entire life. How about you ask the exact opposite question next time: "Why did you decide to get married and have children?"
You're not technically wrong but the retirement pension payment plan is basically a generational contract.
So if you don't have children you should contribute something otherwise it's going to be hard for our generation and the following one to put up the money for the baby boomers pension payments.
asian boss has rly stepped up their game, theres a significant diff between AB and other reporting channels
Even Japanese marriage culture or relationship perspectives are unique
Nope weeb its the same in all developed Asian societies
Weeb
8:57 I really respect his decession.... specially this line, "because I want to do whatever I want, so I would respect her decession "....✨
3:15
Weird, this is how I talk to people too. Must be a lack of confidence issue or something.
That's fixable.
I think he is lack of confidence because this topic is a trauma to him.
He seems to be smart and down to earth :)
Introvert/hikikomori
I was just looking at the host for the whole video
*“What’s preventing young people from getting married?”*
we just vibing
LOL
Alicia! i'm happy to see her on Asian Boss!!
Traditional Japanese men most likely prefer a wife who works, does all the household chores and look after the kids.
This is what every man on the planet wants. You probably don't want this at the beginning of the relationship, but after a while, you will have a problem with it during the relationship (that's why there are a lot of divorces). Gender roles are more confusing than ever.
That is expected all around the world. Pretty much the reason that when I reach my stability (government worker), I plan to have children (it's one of my dreams to be a mother) and that is it, getting married is a plus if I'm lucky enough to find a reasonable man, otherwise no way I will have all this trouble and still be a maid to some man who probably treated his dear mother the same way. Bleh.
Precisely why any intelligent woman wants to avoid marriage, unless she is madly (i.e. blindly) in love.
@@stillfangirlingtoday1468 I hope you're aware of the litany of statistics on the deleterious effects of an absent father in the family. If you give up on finding the perfect guy, and you're afraid of ending up with an abusive guy, then you can at least settle for a doormat, someone who you can control. And even if that ends up being someone abusive, then divorce. There's barely any stigma to it. Just don't bring kids into the world disadvantaged from the get-go. They deserve better.
Vad M. You’re a salty boi, blaming women for all the problems. Shame on you
No one is going to talk about how amazing that interviewer was ? 👏🏻
Is really hard to raise a child. I totally agree with who doesn't want a kid.
That's an excuse. People who think so, actually escaping from a responsibility.
i don't want to get married and don't want to have my own child too, it's my opinion and other people think i'm weird lol. i experienced babysitting my 3 niece and 1 nephew at the age of 13 and i know how hard it is
But I think raising children is review happy.
True, plus there are lots of shitty parents out there, not everyone has to have children.
AUG A3 Especially the ones that want pets instead, it’s the same thing lol, you’re still going to spend money on food, veterinarians, etc.
From my woman’s perspective it’s because men seem to increasingly become more unreliable and don’t even want kids until they’re 40, let alone be married, plus they get to walk away from anything whenever they feel like it. Women don’t want kids without being married because no woman wants to be a single mom. so we’re just being extra careful before bringing a baby into an uncertain world. Women are intuitive, and if we have the feeling we can’t support a child we will not have one.
True.
The Matadore no woman wants to be a single mum? Then why are there like tons more single mums than single dads?
Women can also walk away anytime they feel like it while divorcing the man and taking half his assets. Men being unreliable? Ok, when was the last time any woman was reliable? Especially Asian females who earn less than half of Western women.
The thing is that the fee for having a regular-normal life is already high... yeah getting married would help to cover those costs, but then having a baby would be even more expensive. As far as I know recently Japan gives money to the couple to cover the costs of the first 6 months after the baby was born or something like that. That probably would help them, but at the end of the day you would need a very good and stable job if you want to raise that child.
So a lot of young japanese people think "Why would I want to spend so much money now if it barely covers my needs?"
Great video. Thanks for continuing to provide insightful content. Also, nice to see Alicia hosting a video for once. She did a great job.
2:37 guy. You’re awesome!
The reporter Alicia is SOO BEAUTIFUL. goodness!
Can you make a video about a similar topic, but in China. This generation has around 45 million more men than women, that means that a lot of people will never marry. Adding to that, a lot of women have incredible unrealistic expectations about men. Like height, houses, multiple cars, expecting them to pay for the wedding, etc. This would be very interesting. I know a few friends who are very depressed.
Also, this was a great video. Good job Asian Boss 👌
@@cin9842 One child policy system.
Many men are now looking abroad for wives. But yeah, unless men are willing to share wives, there's not going to be enough pairing up. Women in China focus on careers and then become leftover women.
Yeah like men don't have incredibly high expectations from women?This video is a prime example .Also there are left over women in China who these men refuse to date because of their own high expectations .
@@Marklee-lx7cd Its true. It goes both ways. But I believe that in terms of dating, men have it worst in China.
6:57 I like this dude. He views marriage as something to stick to for all your life, and seems like looking for an out before making a commitment is not on his mind at all.
Where’s Hiroko?
That’s what I thought 💭
Watching the interview made me realized that the invisible demands like child care, running a household, children’s welfares on schools and outside schools are quite heavy to the wives especially, not to mention their roles to contribute to the financial needs of the family though not mention is felt by women population. People are bound to break with too much pressures. Some one mentioned mental heath is one of the concerns why they choose to live and grow old alone. There is happiness and joy in married life and having family. sometimes we do encounter humps along the way, it is still a workable relationship. My married life for 28 years before my husband passed away was far from perfect but we lived a full life ( experienced happy, fun, sad, and had overcome all kinds of challenges, sweet and joyful memories overrule at the end). The relationship need to have two people committed to ride through life together with the strong conviction to make a better person of ourselves for the sake of the other partner. The children will absorb whatever they see in us, their parents. If we show the children a united front and a commitment to make our kids happy, for them to have a secure feeling that we will be for them no matter what we face everyday, the days ahead become easier. Not every success in life is about material gain. At the end of the day, the sight of smile in your family’s faces matters most. It is priceless. I hope someone pick up something on what I am sharing here.
Affording to a house and children necessities is a challenge nowadays.
I think the government should make it easier for foreigners to live in Japan. That's an easy way to increase the population.
I don't think this is just a problem is Japan.
I noticed allot of people from our generation not really liking the idea of having kids
It is huge social problem both in Korean and Japan today.
Both countries tend to go through all these social phenomena.
Why nobody mentioned this handsome reserved young man in a white sweater and coat? He is soo attractive
3:00 or 3:52?
@@pomelo9262 3.00😍
Although I get that a country with an aging population and a low birth rate can be extremely detrimental. . .at the same time it's kind of refreshing in a way to see that the younger Japanese population aren't forcing themselves into marriage and parenthood just because it's the socially acceptable thing to do. Japanese society (from personal observation) seems like it puts a lot of emphasis on "saving face" and doing what's expected of you, even if the individual feels differently. So much pressure is put on them as far as school and work, pleasing their bosses, their parents, keep up with their colleagues, etc, I kind of like the fact that more of them are saying "We'd rather do what brings us personal fulfillment, even if it goes against the norm."
But at the same time. . .for Japanese cities where people are literally living on top of each other, it seems their men and women don't know how or when to interact with each other(?)
Im Japanese 19 years old. I would like to marry someone who have own personality and of course want children . And I just want to say one thing “marriage partner is not your robot”.
Hello 🥰
I think based on what they've just said, it's not really easy to get married because of many factors and as an adult, you don't have enough time to meet others except for your everyday co-workers. That's why when I'll start working, I would try to do my things at my own pace. I also think that one of the factors of the declining are most people are pressured to be more rich and successful as early as possible so people don't have time to think about others and continue dedicating their life in their work.
Aw poor red jacket dude 😭 "because I'm not attractive" bruh
He is normal looking, all sorts of different people get married.
He reminds me of myself , I kinda have his face , I too have a dark personality and though people always say I'm handsome I'm always like yeah ok sure buddy
This was super interesting, thanks Asian Boss!
Wow I'm early for once ! I love these videos and the Japanese guys are so cute😭😭😭😭
I don't think the interviewer would have a problem getting married. She's gorgeous, outgoing, and has a career.
That guy at 11:49 has the most realistic view of all. It is probably just as expensive to have children in Japan as it is anywhere else. In this day and age I don't think that it's fair to expect men to carry 100% of the financial burden of providing for a family. But from what I have noticed, Japan as a culture does not make it easy for women to work and have children at the same time. Women do 100% of the cooking? 100% of the housework? 100% of the childcare? From a woman's perspective, I can understand why Japanese women are choosing to not have children. And to be fair, I can see why Japanese men don't want that much of a burden on their shoulders.
And someone needs to tell that guy at 3:55 who thinks he is unattractive that he is wrong!
honestly that glasses guy was real woke, when he said there should be more nurseries, it has a lot to do w women being expected to do 100% child care when they want/need to work
Miriam Caro yeah, and I think it should go both ways. If a woman is now expected to work to contribute to the family, men must also take care of the house and kids to contribute too
Rabab A That is exactly what I mean! 🙂
María Amuyu De Las Mercedes He was right.
paisleyyama I understand that very well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the traditional family set-up as long as the couple can afford it. But as @aMr. Doggo suggested, the tax rates in Japan make it very difficult to continue with the old-fashioned, traditional way of life. It is not only that way in Japan but in most first-world countries which used to have 4+ children per household and now only have 2. So something has to change or the decline in the birth rate will continue to deplete the population. No population, no Japan. And that would be very sad.
Granted I'm not Japanese. I'm a woman from the U.S. But since childhood, I always knew I didn't want kids. & when I was 14, I learned that my chances of conceiving were less than stellar. For me, was fine because I didn't want kids. & at 34, 35 in September. That view hasn't changed. Instead of seeing people like me as immature & not thinking of others & only ourself. Think of us as adults, making a sound decision. Not wanting to bring a life into the world because society says that's how it should be. Because there are plenty of orphanages in this world that are overwhelmed & can telll you. Having kids just because you can, isn't sunshine & rainbows. People like me aren't the problem. The rush to procreate because we can & society demands it to be an "adult" is the issue. Progress from a broken mindset is delayed failure
I think it will be best for the future students because they don't have to fight for one place in jobs or in other fields to get sucess. Like 5million wants to be doctor but seats are present only for 10000 students.
With aging population Japan's working class will decline each year, as old people generally handle hard-working Japanese life style worse meaning that economics will decline as well. Not to mention that those old people are to be cared by somebody (nurses)
Most dimmest logic ever seen
There must be some undisclosed element to these night hostess bar jobs...
Well some of them do sleep with their customers out of work hours...
Batgirl P I mean the potential to hook up with a client is always there because they clients will always want to do so. That’s the long game. Asian Boss has some good videos about host clubs you should definitely check out if you get the chance. Interested chit.
remember it’s considered socially acceptable for a married man to go to a hostess bar
@@user-jg3yx8yu4l um they dont see that as cheating?😳
XI XI No, they don’t. That’s already been shown on the other Asian Boss episodes. Many clients of hostesses are married men.
*reads title*
Long answer: this video
Short answer: not me
That guy at 5:00 he seems really very enjoyable type of person who lives each and every moment of his life happily with his partner...
The funny part is women is not natural born domestic worker. There's a lot of women that's just bad at it. Like me. Stigma of women is naturally caring and can take care of the household well is partly wrong. And it also applies to men. So actually hoping too much for your future partner to be what you want is one of the reason relationship is not working.
That whole concept came out of the industrial revolution. It was made up. It's what society needed at that time. That age is over.
For the past year I have been living in Japan. I met a guy I really liked and we were having a good time together, but he was so busy all the time. His work hours were 7am-7pm Monday to Saturday. We separated because I wanted to get married and he didn't think it was fair to me to work those hours and have a wife as he'd never see me. It was really upsetting.
Yes, this is the main problem but nobody ever brings this up. Japanese work culture means there is no time to find a mate or have a love life.
We just need i-phones and seven elevens to have a life.
tatsu masa Lawson and Don quijote too 😁
Lol that's True though 😂😂
tatsu masa dont forget Family Mart!
@@kageyamareijikun
No, we don't want to use that kind of language like; "Family".
tatsu masa ファミマートthen..hehe
Praise to the interviewer. Really nice catch when the interviewees turn down themselves.
Stop bullying people who want things. If a guy wants a girl who can cook, then he wants a girl who can cook. The reality is, most of us want certain things from our partners, we might end up falling in love with completely different people, but we still have ideals. There is nothing bad about that. For example, I love cooking and I want a guy who wants someone who can cook, bc I can lmao.
so just stop acting like there's something bad about having a certain ideal body type or ideal qualities in mind when thinking of your future husband/wife
True... That man criteria for woman just cooking... And people mad to him lol
LOVE THIS CHANNEL! Sending respect from central Florida.
Indonesia hereee... where people after 25 and haven't get married will be asked by their surrounding "when will you get married? When will you get married?" After married they will ask you "when wil you have kids?" After you have kid they will ask you "when will you have 2nd, 3rd, 4th child?" And so on 😂😂😂. So many couples here sometimes get married just because they want to change their status in society 😄😄😄
Agreed....In India also....If someone got married then after 1 year they will start asking :are you having baby are you pregnant or when will you have baby...Same thing happens here 😄😄
1:33 I kind of agree with this statement as a 17 year teenager myself.
I came too early, no good comments :(
Awww who is the person in ur profile pic he so cuuuteee😭
Edit: O wait nvm I looked closer and it's a TXT member and I'm sorry if this is wrong but I can't tell them apart easily because it is hard for me and takes me 2-10 days to tell people from groups apart but is that Beomgyu?
then make one :)
Army sucks
@@mhdfrb9971 that isn't bts on my profile pic but okay
@@xeno3755 it's Taehyun ! 😋😋
the reporter did an excellent job
Living in Japan for 6 years and trying to find a wife has been difficult to say the least. I have yet to find a young girl who is willing to be serious in relationships or desires to get married. Everyone just wants to hop from partner to partner having "fun" it's really discouraging. Parents and society treats everyone like a child until 30 years old. And discourages marriage until that age. No one encourages marriage at a young age until late 20's when it's too late. By that time most people are physically and emotionally scared by past relationships making it difficult to to commit to one person. And the excuses number in the hundreds, no money, not mature enough, haven't done the things in life they wanted yet, etc. It's such a sad situation.
That's really sad. I thought Japan was different in this regard.
@@Spanish_Patriot Nobody wants kids. But people forget that you can get married and not have kids until you are ready.
So your reasoning for getting married early is so rope people into it before they know what they are getting into rather then doing what they want to do it in life?
Sounds like the logic of a con man. lol
@@Rem694u2 No, If I actually love someone I want to commit to her and only her as family. Because that is what it means to love someone. I don't want to use someone for fun and toss them aside when it gets boring or inconvenient. That's what selfish people do. Besides, if you are sleeping with someone you are ready for marriage. And you already know what you are doing. Saying otherwise is just making excuses.
kamoboko86 have you thought about marrying a woman in her 30s then? She will be more financially stable for you too.
I feel so informed I'm happy thank you 😊
man with the beanie is handsome!!
The world is already overpopulated. If I would raise a child, I would definitely adopt one. I think adopting will reduce the stress on the resources, less stress on society generally, less suffering in the society. That only happens when I am financially stable.
You'd think that asian parents like mine, having known how demanding work life can be when you get older, would let up on their children and let them have fun and explore new things and have relationships while they're still young instead of occupying every second of of their youth with studying for exams with no space for any form of "distraction".
trueeee but i cant tell them this. im just tired but let's keep it pushin
I just wanted to come live either in japan or korea , but now I’m frightened, sure my country isn’t modern and all but i feel like no one struggles like japanese people are rn , after all in my country you can still have 5 children in a small household and live with a salary of 150€ here (it’s a common phenomenon tho)